[CC-czech] [Czech licence - legal code in xhtml and the latest english retranslation

Fri Mar 20 14:28:13 GMT 2009

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Dear Michelle and Catharina, 
for detailed comment see below, the "executive summary" if you accept my explanations is that only the following needs to be changed:
1) line break in 4(a) in all licenses
2) dot in 6 in BY-NC-SA
3) wording of 1(k) in BY-SA
Thanks for all the precise reading in Czech you have done, I admire that.
Have a nice weekend. 
Petr
________________________________
Petr Jansa
E-mail: Petr.Jansa at mujmail.cz
Tel.: 777-586-245
________________________________
Od: Michelle Thorne
Přijato: 19.3.2009 18:08:38
Předmět: Re: [Czech licence - legal code in xhtml and the latest english retranslation
Dear Marek, Petr, and Lukas, 
Catharina and I have completed our proofreading, and we have put together a few thoughts. When you have a moment, we'd be happy to hear your input! 
All licenses:
* 4(a): extra line break? We've noticed that the paragraph appears to be disrupted, possibly by an extra line break. Perhaps the whole clause should just be one paragraph? 
OK- we shall adjust this. 
* all licenses without NC element: We noticed that in the NC licenses (BY NC, BY NC SA, and BY NC ND), there are three subsections for the collecting society language in Section 4 (identified by i., ii., iii.). However, in the non-NC licenses, the collecting society language in Section 3 only includes two subsections (i. and ii.). Usually these items have the same number of subsections, so we'd just like to confirm if the current version is correct.
This is correct due to the structure of our collecting society clause:
(i) This agreement does not affect the right to collect royalties for the use of the Work provided such rights can not remain unexploited or can not be waived, especially non-waivable compulsory collectively managed rigts.
(ii) This agreement also does not affect the right to collect royalties for other than non-commertial use of the Work, even though the licensor could omit exploiting or waive such rights.
(iii) In all other cases the licensor will not exploit or he waives herewith the right to collect royalties for the use of the Work under this agreement. 
You can see that (i) includes non-waivable license sheemes, (iii) includes both waivable and voluntary license shemes and (ii) is extra clause for the the "other than non-commercial use" which can be left out in the non-NC licenses.
BY-NC:
* 4(c): Ordinarily, Section 4(c) includes a reference to to Section 3(a). However, now there is the following "... v souladu s ustanovením čl. 3 písm. b)." Is this also okay following your current structure? 
In the unported version it refers to 3 b) : ..."consistent with Section 3(b), in the case of an Adaptation, a credit identifying the use of the Work in the Adaptation..." 
which I hope i correct since 3(b) unported reads:
"...takes reasonable steps to clearly label, demarcate or otherwise identify that changes were made to the original Work..."
If it is this is wrong in BY-NC than it is wrong in other non-ND licenses, too. But I think it is not.
BY-NC-ND:
* 3 (end of paragraph): As a small suggestion, we often include the phrase "... but otherwise you have no such rights to make Derivative Works." at the end of the section, after all the permissions are listed. It is of course not incorrect to leave it out, but perhaps it would be a helpful clarification for the users. 
BY-ND:
* 3 (end of paragraph): Same as the above. 
I have included this remark by rephprasig the non-ND sentence:
The above rights include the right to make such modifications as are technically necessary to exercise the rights in other media and formats.  
to ND wording:  Except modifications that are technically necessary to exercise the above rights in other media and formats the licensee is not allowed to create derivative Works. 
BY-NC-SA:
* 4(d): Smae as comment for BY NC. Should this clause be the equivalednt of "...consistent with Section 3(a)..." instead of "...v souladu s ustanovením čl. 3 písm. b).?
See above.
* 6: I believe there is a missing period after: POSKYTOVATEL NEODPOVÍDÁ ZA ŽÁDNOU ŠKODU NAD MINIMÁLNÍ ROZSAH STANOVENÝ PLATNOU PRÁVNÍ ÚPRAVOU, COŽ NABYVATEL BERE NA VĚDOMÍ
You are right :-)
BY-SA:
* 1(k) Is there perhaps a missing reference to the Unported in the definition of Creative Commons compatible license? See the text from the US license, for example:
"Creative Commons Compatible License" means a license that is listed at http://creativecommons.org/compatiblelicenses that has been approved by Creative Commons as being essentially equivalent to this License, including, at a minimum, because that license: (i) contains terms that have the same purpose, meaning and effect as the License Elements of this License; and, (ii) explicitly permits the relicensing of derivatives of works made available under that license under this License or either a Creative Commons unported license or a Creative Commons jurisdiction license with the same License Elements as this License.
You are right on this one - it needs to be changed as follows:
(ii) výslovně umožňuje poskytování upraveného díla za podmínek tohoto ujednání nebo licenčního ujednání Creative Commons určeného pro právní řád jiného státu nebo licenčního ujednání Creative Commons Unported, jež obsahují shodné licenční prvky. 
Thanks a lot for your patience during the review process! We look forward to your comments on the above items. If there are any changes to be made, perhaps we should first have CC Czech go ahead with proofreading and add any changes you've spotted. Then, we'll ask if you could implemented all changes and re-send the XHTML for a final time. Does that sounds like a good approach?
Thanks a lot for YOUR patience, you did an astonishing job by proofreading a Czech text!!!
We really appreciate your help here. Thanks again, and take care! 
-- Michelle and Catharina
On Wed, Mar 18, 2009 at 4:36 PM, Michelle Thorne <michelle at creativecommons.org> wrote:
Nathan, thanks a lot for uploading the files! 
Dear Marek, Petr, and Lukas,
Catharina and I are currently proofreading the licenses, and we will send along any comments by tomorrow. Pending any revisions from CCi, we'll ask you to carefully review all the licenses on staging and send us your final approval. But first we should hold off until Catharina and I have completed our proofreading, so that you can follow up with us first should any questions arise. 
Thank you all for your support! This is the homestrech. ^_^
Until soon,
-- Michelle
2009/3/16 Nathan Kinkade <nkinkade at creativecommons.org>  
Hi everyone,
Here are the licenses that Marek sent on the 14th:
http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/cz/legalcode
http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/cz/legalcode
http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/cz/legalcode
http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/cz/legalcode
http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/cz/legalcode
http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/cz/legalcode
Thanks!
Nathan
On Sun, Mar 15, 2009 at 4:39 AM, Catharina Maracke
<catharina at creativecommons.org> wrote:
> Marek,
>
> Thanks for clarification. I pretty confident that things are perfectly fine
> now - but let's have a final look once these files are on the staging server
> before we press the green light button :-))
>
> Nathan, could you upload these recent files again?
>
> Thanks a lot!
>
> Catharina
>
>
> Dr. Catharina Maracke
> catharina at creativecommons.org
>
>
>
>
> On Mar 14, 2009, at 7:52 PM, Marek Tichy wrote:
>
>> Dear Michelle Thorne napsal(a):
>>>
>>> http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/cz/legalcode
>>> http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/cz/legalcode
>>> http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/cz/legalcode
>>> http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/cz/legalcode
>>> http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/cz/legalcode
>>> http://staging.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/cz/legalcode
>>>
>>> Dear all,
>>>
>>> Please find above the links generated from the files Marek sent on
>>> Feb. 27 and uploaded by Nathan on March 3. Petr, I understand that you
>>> and Catharina have discussed and agreed upon the English
>>> re-translation of the BY NC SA? Is it correct to assume that the files
>>> above reflect those recent revisions?
>>
>> No, not correct. The attached zip file contains the latest version of
>> the files. These replace any older ones and contain the latest revisions.
>>>
>>> If there are any changes be made now, I would kindly ask you and Marek
>>> to revise the respective license and resend the XHTML for uploading.
>>
>> Attached. Please kindly upload them.
>>>
>>> If there are no necessary changes for now, please feel free to begin
>>> proofreading via the links.
>>
>> There should not be any more changes (fingers crossed).
>>>
>>> Petr, once you've confirmed that the files are up-to-date and all
>>> necessary changes have been made, Catharina and I will begin
>>> proofreading as well.
>>
>> I think you can start, the zip contains the latest retranslation with
>> the changes Petr and Catharina have agreed on (highligted).
>>>
>>> Thanks so much for your time and efforts on this! We're on the
>>> homestretch! :-)
>>
>> Thank you too !
>>
>> Cheers
>> Marek
>> 
>
>
-- 
----------------------------------------------
Michelle Thorne
Eisenacher Strasse 2
10777 Berlin, Germany
+49 302 191 582 66
creativecommons.org/international
-- 
----------------------------------------------
Michelle Thorne
Eisenacher Strasse 2
10777 Berlin, Germany
+49 302 191 582 66
creativecommons.org/international