[diggers350] Heads up!

[Ed Iglehart]

Warranty Card

 Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new
investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
registration card below. Answering the
survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to
develop new products that best meet
your needs and desires.

 1. [_] Mr.  [_] Mrs.  [_] Ms.  [_] Miss  [_] Lt.  [_] Gen.  [_]
Comrade  [_] Classified  [_] Other
First Name:.....................................................
Initial: ........ Last
Name:......................................................
Password: .............................. (max. 8 char) Code Name:
......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........

 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

 3.Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /....... /......

 4.Serial Number: ...............................................

 5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

 6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

 7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this
McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

 8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

 9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all
that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check

 12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

 13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which
you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

 Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies
that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as
well as allowing you to receive
mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and mysterious
consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win
a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

 Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS
CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division

 This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website
by an employee there who
obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a
sense of humor) - and made
the web department take it down immediately. (McDonnell Douglas is one
of the world's chief suppliers
of military aircraft.) *****

My life is one long obstacle course,
         with me being the chief obstacle.

(http://www.tipiglen.dircon.co.uk/credo.html#credo)

        If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
        committee -- that will do them in.



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