Noble Trees planted by my Forefathers cutt down & Burned

[Zardoz]

An Elizabethan Diary
By E. P. Thompson
Merlin press 1980 – London
cloth 0 85036 257 1 - paperback 0 85036 260 1
First published in Vole, Vol. 2 No. 5, February 1979.

Mr. E. P. Thompson, the historian, has recently discovered behind a panel in his library the diary of a remote ancestor, a minor landowner in Worcestershire, and a JP. The diary is undated, but - despite certain discrepancies - it would seem that the extracts published below date from late September or early October 1593.


Such a Year for Fruits is not in Memory, no, not the oldest Grandame about Episcopi can report the Like. My Lord of Ledbury hath this Yeer a Bushel of Apricocks against the Manor Wall, engraffed on Stock brot from Jerusalem in the late Crusade. There be Coddlins & Pippins on every Side, so that the very Bows do Break. As for the Plumbs, there be ten Bushel at Winchester Measure on any well-set Tree.
*
But here's the Rubb. Fruit cannot go to Markett, not for Money nor even yett as Charitye for the Poor. Some say it be through a Sort of Monopolisers in the Dealing Trade, wch wd keep all Price at its Customary Heighth as it is set in any Leen Yeer. And that these Dealers wd rather that the Poor Starve, the Fruits fall Rotted and Wormey, and the Husbandmen & their Familys Toile & Swinke for no Reward - all so that their Proffits be not Sunke. To wch Effect they have many Foul Tricks in the Regrating & Engrossing Way, wch God & the Queens Council should prevent.
But Lawyer Grafter of Herefd who hath come but lately from the Innes of Court saith it is Otherwise & that it is (Save the Mark!) the Queens own Council wch is to blame, wch have made a Secret Treaty wth the French & the Low Countries & have thrown the Markett of the Cities wide to em, nay, even given em a Privilege in a Subsidy of the Queens own Revenue, & what is that but the Taxes wch the Industrious pay? So that the Nacion is Taxed to Spoile the Nacions own Tillage. And one Jankyns (he that was once but a meer Schoole Master) passeth privily betweene the Lands & brings the Strangers Wares up all the Rivers of England. And the City Folk run after forrayn Facion & must have the Apples dresst in Papers like Ladyes Sweetmeetes & no Blemish on the Skinnes & all of a Size like Oysters in a Barrel, althow the Fruit be Nothing but Pith & Pulp & a Sort of Natureless Pap without neither Goodnesse nor Taste. So that the Sweete Juices of England, whose Coddlins & Pippins no Land cd ever Equal, are run into the Grownde like an Old Ox pissing in the Mudd.
*
Rode over this two Dayes to the Cotsalls to meet my Cozen, Justice Shallow, for he is indeed now of the Queens Commicion & a Great Man in those Parts. In his Curtesy he made me privy to many great Affairs of State on wch he discoursed wth becoming Wisdom. As that the Plague of Vagabonds, Rogues & Sturdy Beggars is grown to that Heighth that they be now so Insolent as to meet in great Congregacions & upon the open Comons by Day. And that in the North Part of the Kingdom they did meet but last Month & elected a Monarch of Beggars & his Officers. And did demand that the Justices assess all Wages at two d. more in each li.& so in Proporcion to the Prices of Barley Oats & Wheet. Nay, some were there that said that onely White Loavs were good enough for em & Others so ill-Affected as to say they wd not Work but that they were fed on the best Ale & Beef. And this for onely Twelve Hours Work in the Day wch hath never been known in the Kingdom before. But what Answers the Cotsall Justices are devizing to bring the Servants into Obedient Condicion, as Whippings Stocks & Brandings & as several Hangings in the Assize Town, Mr Justice Shallow did not disclose to a Full View. But Hangings he said there must certaynly be.
*
Rode into Sessions in Worcester this Day. All the Greatest Persons in the County were there for the Matter before us was Heavy. A cunnyng Artificer in the Imploy of the Queen wch was once a Goldsmith in Perugia hath contrived a Mirrour wch hath two Sides. Wch a Man may sit behind & see through it all that passes before him but wch they that be Observed see not that Man but onely their own Images. So all that it needs is to station a Queens Messenger or other Worthy Person behind the Mirrour & all the Treasons of the Queens Enemys shall be instantly Discovered.
It was agreed that the Principal Persons in the Country, the Lords, Bishopps & Justices do as a great Act of Charitye & Grace freely give & donate Mirrours to the Keepers of Alehouses, Taverns, Inns, Brothels, Ordinaries & the like, where all great Seditions are Hatcht. For that Tom Nancy & Hobb be so Vain as to sit before the Mirrours preening emselves. And hence all is accomplished at a Double Stroke. For the Rogues & comon Folk be filled with Gratitude to the Great for giving em these Toyes & at the same Time Artists in the Queens Imploy may take down their Likenesses & the Messengers may make Copyes of their Horrid Plots, Blasphemies, yea Heresies wch have never run so High & wch even poor Clerkes of Oxon & piddling Curates do stir up. And other such Matters as privily breaking the Seales on the Mail & stationing Spyes in the Bushes by the comon Highway wch being so long familiar I did not closely attend, in that Squire Western did call me out to inquire the Price of a Yoke of Bullocks at the Fair, and thence with Sir Walter de Coverley to dine at the Swann.
*
Item. As of that Mirrour Sir Walter hath learned that it Was first imployd & to Good Effect against the Treasons of one Kit Marlowe a poor Scholard of Cambridge Town. Who under Pretens of Spying against the Papists hath bin in League wth certain Great Persons in Devon wch were Suspekt as Mortalists & Republickans to boot. And that this Marlowe was put to Death for his Treasons, as well it shd be, but that the Queens Coroner was bidden by Mr Secretary Cecil to give out to the World that he had mett his Death in a Duell. This Marlowe was of No Account beeing a Meer Writer of Stage Playes wch were so ill made as the Players had to make em over again. As one of Dr Festus his Pact with the Deuill wch onely the first and last Acts was good enough to Play - & they being poor enough - but that the Clowne wrote many witty Porcions in betwixt, as pulling off a Legg that was made of Straws and as Homes growing in a Mans Head wch Squire Western who hath bin in Londn saith made him break his Chair in twain with Laughing but that the ending of the Deuill coming for the Drwas Sorry Stuff & put him in Mind of a Funerall & made Lady Western have the Vapors.
*
Back to the Sessons on Friday. A Messenger hath rode to Death two noble Horses under him with Newes from the Council in Londn & all the Talk was what he brot of a Great Plot Discovered. It does seem a Boatswain who was imployd a full Eight Yeers Agone on one of the Queens Frigates hath bin Discovered by Means of the Mirrour a-seated in an Alehouse wth two Seditious Printers. And he told em about the Markins on the Buoys up the Channel by wch if known the Armada wd have sailed up the Thames & anchored off the Isle of Dogges. And some said that the Spaniards are already there - the Tower is taken - the Queen & Court fled into Northumberland to raise an Army - the Inquisition is by now on English Soile.
The Gentlemen was much astonied at this Newes & there was a General Call for Warrant of Hue & cry against all Cobblers Boatswains & such Disaffected Fellows.
But my Neighbour Admirall Salt took me aside & said this was no more than Landlubbers Talk. For that in Eight Yeers all the Channels have silted & changed & the Buoys bin moved about & that every River Pilot knows more than this Boatswain could know. Nay, that it hath all bin long Published Abroad for Every Eye to read & even the Masters of Petty Forrayn Trading Vessels have it putt down in a little Manual. But for all that, saith the Admirall, it hath bin a good Stroke to lett the comon Folk suppose that Treasons be abroad in that it may bring em into a better Affecion to the State. Or if Affecion be wanting it will make the Lesser Sort go in More Feer. For if the Boatswain be not Hanged, saith he, what is to prevent Other Men who are privy to Secrets of State disclosing those of more Delicate & Grave Import, as how the Ships Officers make Proffits of the Seamens Victuals & as how Oyls & Spices were run throw the Blockade off the Affrick Coast & our Great Ships of the Line standing idly by? Nay, saith he, Ballads will be stuck up on every Poste agen the Agents of the Crowne & the Disaffec,ted will press Neerer Yett upon the Queens own privy Audience, as asking why Mr Secretary Hal Walsinghame did take Passage of a Sudden helter-skelter back to his Estates in Scilly & what in the Queens own Presence was not said.
'Tis said that a Great Tryal will be had in London to strike Terror into the Hearts of the Queens Loyal Subjects & it is already settled that the Boatswain shall have his Bowells drawn while yett Alive & his Head to be on a Pike outside the Chambers of Mr Secretary in Whitehall. As for the Printers it is not yett agreed with the Judges, but that they shall very certaynly have their Eers cut off. And this already hath such Good Effects as that all the Booksellers of Worth & Substance about St Pauls be now reduced into a more Obedient Complecion & these do not suffer any Word to be Printed but what hath first bin Licensed by Mr Secretary his Office. And a Speciall Jury is got ready & Minute Inquiry by Spyes made into each Jurors Affecions so that no surly Puritan Fellows be there.
*
Homeward riding I met with my Neighbour Yeoman Russett. He hath this Yeer four Acres in their Prime of a Wondrous Plumb yclept the Glostershire Drooper - althow that be just a Gloster Bragg as it was Farmer Bransford in Woostershire that graffed it first as I have often heard my Father say. These be of a full rich Golden Fruit & Yeoman Russett saith there hath never bin seen a finer Crop. But all, saith he, must rott on the Grownde for the Dealers will not Haggle. And he hath thrown open his Orcharding to the Poor who come on Asses & on Foot to carry em away, onely leaving a d. or two for Charitye. And he hath Determined to cutt all downe & break up those Lands & put em under Barley. And the City Folk must buy the stale & sour Fruit of France or else they must want. As for his great Field of Hoppes betwixt the Ings and the Lynchetts, there is no selling em at all, for the great Brewers have brot into their Imploy cunnyng Apothecaries who wth certayne Salts can so Disguise Pond Water as to make it pass for Ale. Wch Salts, saith Farmer Russett, he hath bin assured by a Dr of Physicke in Bromyard be Poysons & do breed Distempers of the Brain & Raging Melancolys by wch the Nacions Counsels be brot into Ruine. 
*
At my Gate I was accosted by Master Giles, Wheelwright of Powicke, he that is said to be of a new Puritan persuason & to be a great Reader by Candlelight & to have strange Lecturers to visitt at his House. He greeted me uncouthly & wthout doffing his Hatt & he said that the State ran in ill Courses & that the Queen had bad Advisors & that he and some mean Fellows do intend to gett up a Remonstrance to the Comons House willing em to pass an Act of Attaynder of the Queens Privy Council & her chief Secretarys of State. And further he blurted out that as he had alwayes held me to be an Honest Country Gentleman (thow no great Thinker he was pleased to add) he had come to Sollicit my Hand in this Affair.
I raised myself High in my Saddle, the better to bring down my Whipp upon his Back. But as I turned I saw on every Side the noble Trees planted by my Forefathers cutt down & Burned & Natures Foison all at Waste, & it came to Mind how the Dealers & the sly Agents of Forrayn Lands & the Privy Contrivers of Silly Peevish Cheeting Tryals of State do bring our Country into Contempt, do lead our Queen into foul & false Courses, & do blight the Labour & the Honor of Men of every Degree.
Come into my Study, Goodman Giles, said I. I will take Counsel with thee. And I do assure thee, I keepe no Mirrours in Episcopi Hall.

Squire Edwd. Tomson